


What Happened to You?

by Sandylee007



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Caring Alec Lightwood, Depression, Drama, Hurt, Hurt Magnus Bane, Love, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e12 Original Sin, Worried Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: POST EPISODE 3x12           After Lilith and the Owl, Alec consults Catarina in effort to try and understand what Magnus is going through. Her explanation does little to soothe him. It doesn’t take long before his fears are realized. After a chilling discovery and an even more startling phone call he rushes to the hospital. What happened to Magnus?                       MALEC





	What Happened to You?

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo… There are days when a story-idea tries to push its way out, almost driving me mad. This tale ambushed me today. (chuckles)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Seriously…?! You have no idea what a Malec-show the series would be if I owned anything. (smirks)
> 
> WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and depression some people may find triggering… This isn’t exactly a happy ride. Buuuut, if you can handle that… It’s safe to proceed.
> 
> Awkay… It’s go-time! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy this strange, dark ride.

Two days after Alec’s… unfortunate encounter with the Owl Catarina was inspecting his injury. Magnus had left the room, as he had done every single time Alec received medical care. Clearly the inability to heal, especially someone he loved, was still too much on the currently magicless warlock. Seeing the agony, to be reminded once again just how much of himself Magnus had lost, pained Alec. But the departure also gave him the kind of an opportunity he’d been waiting for.

“Fully recovered, as I’m sure you expected.” Catarina met his eyes. “But something tells me that news on your health aren’t what you’re interested in right now.”

Alec considered his words carefully. Wondering how, exactly, to set his question. “Losing his magic… What does it feel like for Magnus?” He hurried to continue at the surprise he sparked. “He keeps saying that he’s fine, but I know he’s not. Can’t be. And… I’d want to understand. So I could help.” When she hesitated to answer he went on. “I’ve wonder if it’s anything like being deruned?” He saw how much his mother was hurting after her runes had been taken away, as hard as she tried to hide it. And mused with grief if his beloved was going through the same.

Catarina’s eyes became incredibly sad. “Oh, Alec… It’s worse than that.” He didn’t think he’d ever seen her appear quite so solemn. “We warlocks feel our magic like a heartbeat, all the time. It’s what makes us what we are. It's a thrum of life and warmth under our skin, a tool always at our disposal. We use it to get things done like we do our hands and legs. We’re connected to it constantly. A little like you are to your parabatai, only far more intimately.” She took a deep breath. “Magnus… He’s never gone without it, in centuries of existence, and I couldn't imagine ever living without mine. A loss like that…” She shook her head. “In all the years I’ve known Magnus I haven’t been this worried about him.”

Alec’s heart hammered from sheer terror, crushing guilt, sorrow and determination. His despair over Jace pushed the man he loved to a trip to hell. He’d never forgive himself for letting things go there, yet he knew that there was no way of undoing what’d happened. But at least he could try to somehow make up for his miserable failure by trying to be the partner Magnus deserved now. “What can I do for him?”

Catarina smiled sadly. “Make damned sure that he knows how loved and cherished he still is. That magic or not, you’re right there by his side. And be there for him, especially when he pushes you away.” The smile fell. “And when he… crashes, because we both know that he will eventually… Be there to pick up the pieces.”

/

Like a true Shadowhunter on duty, Alec waited tensely for that crash to come. The first thing he did was to practically move in with Magnus, to protect his lover from both enemies and the man himself. If the warlock realized why he was doing it the discovery wasn’t voiced. Pleased and relieved to be able to do at least that much, Alec subtly planted himself more and more firmly to the penthouse apartment. And kept watch.

He worried that the breakdown would happen when Magnus couldn’t light up a nightlamp for Madzie or protect her from Iris’s invasion. He was chillingly sure that it’d finally come after Iris kidnapped Magnus. He saw flickers of it with the failed breakfast, during their talk after Magnus refused to stay in bed to cuddle, and even when they agreed to cherish the moment. Every time he did his best to offer balm on the gaping wounds by words he hoped to be reassuring rather than bland or condescending. (And on one notable occasion with a training session that became far more… heated than he’d planned.) Each time he felt proud of himself when his boyfriend seemed to feel better. When instead of a broken man who considered himself to be on a borrowed time he saw traces of the man Asmodeus stole from him. Alec could almost convince himself that they’d get through this. But the part of him that wasn’t in denial knew better and remained painfully tense.

There was no ‘getting over’ the kind of a loss Magnus suffered. (He was dying, for crying out loud! And even if it’d by some miracle be as far off as in forty to fifty years despite the lives they led… It was still jarring on someone who used to be immortal.) And Alec knew that Catarina had been right with her warning. Something like what they’d been dreading happened three days after they got Clary back.

The second Alec came home from a terribly long day at the office to a dark apartment his heart stuttered unhealthily.

It was impossible to determine what, exactly, had happened. The start of a dinner sat on the counter. Shards of broken dishes and what little was left of a teapot could be seen on the floor, along with droplets of blood. Alec’s wide and wild eyes scanned through all that and far too much more. Signs of a struggle, obviously. But with an attacker or Magnus himself?

The warlock couldn't answer, because he'd vanished.

The following hour was endless. Alec made more phone calls than he could count, sought and raged in frustrated and terrified fury. Eventually he was coherent enough to consider attempting tracking. That was when his phone started ringing.

It was Catarina. Her tone did nothing to soothe his fried nerves. “ _Magnus was just brought in. He’ll be okay physically, but… You should get here quickly._ ”

Alec had always hated hospitals. But on that day he was entirely too preoccupied by something far more important to notice his unease. In took entirely too long before he and Catarina found each other. “How is he?” was the greeting he settled for.

Catarina groaned, very clearly anxious and frustrated. “Really, really bruised. He’s also sustained some burns I want to check further later.” When she could heal them without arousing suspicion. “But by some miracle he avoided broken bones.” Somehow hearing the question he couldn’t bring himself to voice, she went on slightly more softly. “Alec, he didn’t do this to himself. At least all of this. There’s a lot of evidence that he’s been in a fight.”

Alec chose to take some comfort from that. Although the idea of someone attacking his boyfriend didn’t sit well with him, either. “What happened to him?”

Catarina scoffed. Worried, not annoyed. Or perhaps a little bit of both. “That’s what I’d like to know. A young couple found him from a bridge and thought that he was going to jump. Then they noticed his injuries.” (Alec felt a terrible coldness upon imagining what the man might’ve been planning, and similar fear could be seen in Catarina’s eyes.) “He’s… not exactly talking. Or letting us examine him properly.”

Alec realized belatedly that he was trembling. And wanted to throw up. “Someone hurt him…!” 

“Luke will find them.” Catarina sighed, seeming exhausted all of a sudden. “Magnus will hate a friend digging through this, once he can think straight. But if there’s some kind of Downworld stuff involved… It’s probably for the best to have someone we can trust working on the case. Luke’s promised to keep you updated.”

Alec swore to himself that as soon as he’d know who harmed the man he loved, whether they were mundane or a Greater Demon… He didn’t let himself finish that thought because it would’ve taken his mind to dark waters. And at the moment he had more pressing concerns than revenge. “Where is he?”

Behind the correct room’s door Alec froze. He breathed, gathered himself for something that was far more terrifying than any mission. Then pushed himself in. Nothing could’ve braced him for what he found.

Dressed in hospital clothes and sitting on a bed with his legs pulled tightly to his chest, Magnus appeared heartbreakingly small and fragile. Everywhere Alec looked he found a bruise or a cut. He did his best to not startle the other man, but apparently he was too stealthy. Upon sensing someone’s presence Magnus jolted, every muscle in his body stiffening. Which made the older man flinch. A pair of haunted dark eyes locked with his. The warlock’s mouth opened a couple of times but nothing came out.

Alec… wanted to cry. Or scream. He definitely wanted to pull his boyfriend to the safety of his arms but knew that it would’ve been a bad idea. “Magnus, what happened to you?” he managed with effort.

Magnus looked away, his eyes wandering restlessly. “I… I don’t know. I burned my hands…” (When Alec looked at them he saw angry red skin.) “After that…” The man shook his head almost hysterically, agitation filling his gaze. “I don’t remember. Alec, I can’t remember…!”

Unable to stand the distance between them, Alec approached. When he spoke he could only hope that he didn’t sound as close to tears as he was. “Magnus, hey…” He reached out a hand, but as soon as it touched his lover the man recoiled, breathing sharply and irregularly. He withdrew his fingers with a heavy heart and a vicious sting of hurt.

“… I can’t remember …”, Magnus whispered once more, terror, anger and defeat wrestling over control.

A hellish searing sensation took over Alec’s eyes. But he refused to let the tears roll when he was supposed to be the strong one. “It’ll be okay”, he soothed, focusing firmly on keeping his voice from breaking. Unable to even touch his boyfriend without triggering a panic attack, he hoped from the bottom of his aching heart that he wasn’t lying.

Magnus said nothing, and although they were right next to each other there could’ve as well been a wall between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Magnus! (whimpers) What, indeed, happened to him? Thank gosh for Alec!
> 
> Sooo… Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> And thank you so much for reading! Who knows. Maybe I’ll see you around later?
> 
> Take care!


End file.
